Dear Boyfriend

I am writing this because it became clear to me this morning what the problem has been between us. I'm at work right now, but I have to write this, or I'll forget the words. Many little girls dream of their wedding day; I dreamed of the day I would move out. I dreamed of…

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I’m a Little Drunk Right Now

Had an anxious fit today. What if this is not the life I want? Four walls, no sun, no understanding. Will I always want something better? I guess that's the point of life, to improve, to yearn. If we were satiated, life would be boring. But I don't want to yearn any more. I just…

It's Friday. I'm headed out soon. I want the sun in my eyes and the wind in my hair, not the soul-eating atmosphere of this bleak, glazed-over office. I have a meeting at 9 AM on Monday with my boss. I have labeled it "Important Meeting", and nothing more. There I will inform her that…

Miserable Dreams

My boyfriend and I have been struggling through some relationship dissonance lately. We thought our communication was top notch, but due to errors on both of our parts, we are experiencing a stumble. The sex issue I cited in a previous post we have fixed. Turns out I just need to speak up when I…

Gotta Get Out

Would it be so terribly wrong to quit with nothing lined up? I have an interview next week, and another potential one after some messaging on LinkedIn. Also next week, I am having an evaluation done regarding getting an IUD. That's at least 5 years of coverage, regardless of my insurance status. And again next…

The Road Makes Me Feel Alive

Depression has a funny way of convincing its victims that there is nothing more to the world than the torment of the day-to-day. Everything repeats, like being served the same bland, soupy oatmeal and being expected to like it. And, change seems impossible and undeserved. Yet, how big the world suddenly seems when you leave…

Vile

It's raining outside. I can see the palm trees rippling as the heavy water drops cascade down upon them. The wind is almost rhythmic, asĀ are the group of people across the room from me playing Dungeons and Dragons, with the roll of the dice, the depiction of the characters' thoughts and movements, and the occasional…